Sad superpower

It's Christmastime, which makes me (and everyone, I imagine) both joyful and sad. 

I was really hoping you'd come around and accept my invitation to stay here.  Why can't it be that way?  Why can't we be close in some other way, even if it couldn't be marriage?  You won't even address me, my questions or pleas.  I don't know how you do it, honestly.  It's your superpower.  How I envy you.

2am

I hate that it just didn't work out.
I hate that I'm the only one who feels sad about us.
I hate that I had to make the hard decision.
I hate that I still want the best for you.