Sad superpower

It's Christmastime, which makes me (and everyone, I imagine) both joyful and sad. 

I was really hoping you'd come around and accept my invitation to stay here.  Why can't it be that way?  Why can't we be close in some other way, even if it couldn't be marriage?  You won't even address me, my questions or pleas.  I don't know how you do it, honestly.  It's your superpower.  How I envy you.

2am

I hate that it just didn't work out.
I hate that I'm the only one who feels sad about us.
I hate that I had to make the hard decision.
I hate that I still want the best for you.

We're just after a big brawl. 

We really can't agree on anything; this time it's what constitutes 'five' days.  I say Thursday to Monday, you say Thursday to Tuesday.

Today is Sunday; I'm not certain whether you're planning on returning Girl to me tomorrow or not.  I'm beside myself with so many things...

I hate that we're here.  I hate that we're mortal enemies, that we can only communicate through our lawyers, that we may not ever be any level of 'okay' again.

I tried to talk to you, again.  To no avail.  Until next time...

Dear Ex,

I don't know how we got here, I don't know where we're going, but I know that no matter what happens, it's not going to be good.  Win or lose, you or me - it's going to be a terrible mountain for us both.

I can't talk to you.  Well, I could, but you won't have it.  Your stonewalling and ignorance leaves me so unresolved I'm near pulling my hair out.

So this, here, will be my outlet.  There are so many things I want to say to you, so often - both good AND bad - and leaving them unsaid does so much internal damage and brings us several steps backwards.  So, I will say them here.  You may never see them - but they'll be said, and that will just have to be enough.

Let us begin, then..